I was working in the garden a couple of days ago. As my dexterity is hampered by Parkinson’s I was struggling a little. I use tomato cages to contain my tomatoes. Usually I put them on when the tomatoes are fairly small, but this tomato plant had got quite large and had several suckers that had grown into large branches. Trying to contain it all while lowering the tomato cage was giving me a challenge. I admit I was having trouble, but I still thought I could do it.
My youngest daughter wandered by while I was working on it, I must have restarted the process three or four times as I lost control of the plant or the cage.
After watching for a bit, she asked if I wanted her to help me. “I don’t know I said, what would you do?” She said, “Do it for you.” We laughed. And I eventually finished the job with a tomato plant that has a few less branches than it did before. Although I am grateful that she was willing to help, I am more so that she offered. She didn’t just grab the cage and do it for me, but let me struggle with it until I either did it myself or gave up and asked for help.
Yes, I have a (so far) incurable progressive disability, but I am still able to do much of what I used to do. Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes it is much harder, or I have to find another way to do it, but I can still do it. Other things I know I can’t do, or maybe just don’t feel safe doing them. I have climbed a lot of ladders and been on many roofs over the years, but I would rather not do that anymore. No, I haven’t fallen off, but I don’t want to have that story to tell either.
I appreciate being allowed to find and decide my own limits, rather than having someone else impose limits on me. So thanks for asking.